Niceness Update: My New Year’s Resolution Progress

Happy Friday! 2016 is in full swing, and as promised I’m here with an update on how my New Year’s resolution is going! You’ll recall from last week that I have only one resolution: to learn how to be nice to myself. I’m proud to say that I’ve had some pretty solid successes thus far, though I’m still very much in the information gathering stage of this experiment. Which makes sense, really. After all, I’ve never really been nice to myself before, so it’ll take some time to figure out exactly what that means and looks like for me.

A definite win for the week? Last Sunday, I scheduled a yoga class only to decide to skip it in favor of manicure instead. It was a dilemma, because both activities are indeed great self-care. But as I was picking out my polish colors, I recalled an article I recently read about the long term benefits of yoga for happiness. I put down the Essie and high-tailed it to the studio around the corner, arriving just in time for sun salutations. My brain griped a little bit when the class got tough, (“We could be getting a foot rub instead of doing lunges right now!”) but the sense of calm that I felt as I lay in the final savasana confirmed that I’d made the best choice for that day.

As for some learnings, I’ve gotten very much in touch with how unkind I am to my image in the mirror. I have to pass the full-length mirror in my bedroom in order to get to the bathroom, so I see myself in it at least 20 times a day. And almost every time, I stop and look skeptically at something I don’t like. Sometimes I even pinch a roll of flab, poke a leg dimple, and scowl at my reflection. It stands to reason that I’ve been performing a variation on this self-loathing ritual for the last twenty-five years. Yikes. It’s no wonder my body confidence is so low!

So this week, each time I caught myself lingering in the mirror, I’d summon a thought counter to the critical one running through my head. “You look strong,” I’d tell myself. “You look great!” “Your hair is super shiny today!” Do I believe the praise? No, not really. Not yet anyway. But at least I’ve succeeded on multiple occasions at snapping myself out of my self-denigrating rumination. And I’ve become more present to how frequently I heap judgement on myself. The hope is that if I keep repeating the kind words instead of the cruel ones, I’ll eventually doubt them less.

Moving forward, my biggest goal is to be patient with myself. After all, patience is itself a form of niceness. It’s never been my strong suit, but it’s never too late to start! Stay tuned and I’ll check back next week with another update. Have a great weekend, everyone!

P.S. Can you relate to this negative self-talk and mirror bashing? I have a feeling lots of us out there can. Anyone had success in flipping the switch? Image source.